The Importance Of Listening In Difficult Conversations

Let's talk about listening for a moment. Listening is one of the most important skills when you're faced with a difficult conversation. If you're like me, one thing you've noticed going on in our culture right now is that we're terrible at listening. We all have devices, we all have smart watches, we're not paying attention to what's going on with other people. It is a hallmark of an excellent, difficult conversation that both parties are intentional about listening.

It starts with being attentive, just paying attention to the other person, looking at the other person. One thing I think is super important in a difficult conversation is to remove those distractions. Maybe don't have the conversation as you're sitting behind your computer, move to a neutral location where neither one of you are distracted by your phone or your smartwatch or things going on around you. Make sure to remove those distractions.

Think about your body language as you listen. We say, "Show positive body language." That means you might nod. You might say, "Mm-hmm." You might stand in an open stance instead of standing like this. Think about that body language. The whole goal in a difficult conversation is to hear from the other person. Ask questions, and avoid interrupting.

A lot of people attend training, and they leave training and they say, "Hey, as a result of this training, I'm going to be a better listener." It's a great action item, but it's not very practical. If you want to be a better listener, one simple thing you can do today is just listen through to the end of other people's sentences. You'll be surprised at how much we interrupt. Usually we don't interrupt because we're jerks, it's because we think we know what the other person's going to say. We think we can solve their problem. We're excited. There's an impact to interrupting and especially there's an impact during a difficult conversation. To be better at your listening, listen through to the end of other people's sentences, especially during a difficult conversation.