Emotional Intelligence: Self-Management

In this section, our focus is on self-management. It's important to note that in this domain, we are still focusing on ourselves, and it's not about being perfect. We are all human. We all have good days and bad days. It's about managing your emotions so your emotions do not manage you.

The domain of self-management includes several competencies, emotional self-control, transparency, adaptability, achievement, initiative, and optimism. Individuals who are strong in this area keep disruptive emotions under control, taking control of anxieties and frustrations, and managing interactions in a way which lessens stress rather than succumbing to it. They want others to be able to tell that they're being honest and sincere. They're transparent. They can adapt when things don't go as planned and adopt a sense of optimism, seeing the causes as temporary and linked to factors outside themselves.

As we learn to manage our emotions, we become more emotionally mature. Emotionally mature individuals give off a sense of calm amid the storm, even when they don't have all the answers. They're the ones we look to when going through a difficult time because they perform well under stress. Emotionally mature individuals avoid becoming emotionally hijacked. In the absence of information, we often make up a story to fill in the blanks.

For example, if someone who lacks emotional maturity needs to have a difficult conversation with a very challenging manager, they may make up a negative outcome even before the conversation begins, as a result, saying something they wish they hadn't said, or avoiding the conversation entirely. Emotional maturity is a choice we can all make little by little, day by day, as these choices that positively affect our overall personal competence in the workplace and in life.

Therefore, it's important that you identify strategies to improve in this domain. Take time to sleep on it, or walk away from the situation for a few hours. It can help you regain focus and mentally recharge. Find someone who you trust to give you advice. It may provide you with a different perspective or approach to the situation. Sometimes it may just be better to walk away from the situation entirely. Choosing your battles allows you to focus on those things that are important to you. We've identified some techniques to help you improve self-management. However, it's important that you identify strategies that work for you.